Moments
by omon
Summary: With a baby on the way, Maura reflects back on some of her best memories throughout her pregnancy. That is, until she gets interrupted.
1. Chapter 1

**Flashbacks are in italics.**

* * *

She finds herself suspended in the space in between dreaming and reality, unsure whether she should give back in to sleep, or begin the slow process of waking up. Gently she blinks her eyes clear, adjusting to the semi darkness in the room around her. She stretches her fingers and her toes, bringing her body out of its slumber, greeting it for the first time that morning.

Quietly, she pads into the bathroom, her swollen feet finding comfort in the cool tiles she finds there. She brushes her teeth and splashes water on her face, then uses the soft pink towel to wipe away the last traces of sleep from her eyes. She looks at her reflection in the mirror, and can't help but smile. Instinctively she runs her hands over her large belly, "Good morning, baby." she coos.

She's 6 and a half months in, 28 weeks to be exact, and she is in awe of the wonders of her body; her baby. Exactly 11 days ago she felt her baby kick for the first time, and it brought tears to her eyes instantly. And Jane, her beautiful Jane sat with her and held her hand, massaging the spot where the baby had moved against her skin, welcoming this new development with all the happiness in the world.

* * *

_From across the room, Jane hears her wife's breath catch in her throat. Immediately she stops what she's doing, leaving the bag of popcorn in the microwave, not caring if it burns. She rounds the couch, hands outstretched, ready to fix whatever the problem is. Her heart is pounding._

_Her wife's eyes are wide and glossy, eyebrows knit together in confusion. She watches her blonde woman press her hands over a spot on her belly, her face flushing, the same way it always does when she's about to cry._

_"Jane," she breathes, letting go of the breath she'd been holding accidentally._

_"Maura"_

_The blonde lets out a smile, a few tears come loose and run from her eyes as she lets out a strangled laugh._

_"The baby is moving."_

_Maura watches as Jane's face turns from concern to confusion to excitement all in a matter of seconds. She comes closer, perching herself on the edge of the couch, running her hands through her hair._

_"Come closer, Jane. Come feel it."_

_She shakes her head, eyes wide and afraid. "No Maura, I don't want.. If I touch, it's going to stop." she says, as she looks down into her hands folded tightly in her lap._

_This is the side of Jane that Maura is so unaccustomed to seeing. They've been together for so long, and yet this worried and insecure woman sitting in front of her never ceases to make the doctor sit in shock. In these moments, she is the most beautiful woman in the world._

_Without hesitation, Maura stands up from the couch, bracing herself against the armrest as she rises to her feet. She stands in front of her wife, right between her legs, the detectives face just inches from her pregnant belly._

_"Give me your hands, J."_

_Cautiously, Jane raises her hands to meet Maura's outstretches ones. The blond brings them up and tilts her head down to kay kisses in each of her palms, running her lips over the crescent shaped scars there. "Don't worry." Maura coos. "It's okay to be scared."_

_Jane doesn't respond, she just watches as Maura brings their intertwined hands down to rest on the side of her stomach._

_"Talk, Jane. The baby will hear you."_

_Jane looks at her questioningly, but begins to speak. Her voice shakes._

_"Hi, baby. It's me, its Mommy... Well, one of your mommies."_

_Nothing happens._

_"Um, well I just wanted to say hi to you. I am so excited to meet you."_

_Still nothing. Tears begin to prick the backs of her eyes, and Maura can hear the hurt and fear in her voice, but doesn't do anything. She can feel it coming. The blonde removes her hands from Jane's and presses them into her back for support as the brunette speaks to their baby. The detectives hands are on either side of her watermelloned stomach, her face so close that Maura feels her nose pressing against her skin._

_"It would be really cool if you could move again, baby. It would be so totally cool of you to do that for me."_

_Beneath her hands there is a ripple of movement. It is small and less powerful than before, but she feels it, and for a moment she forgets to inhale._

_"Yeah, that was cool. This is so cool to me." she breathes, not realizing she's speaking out loud._

_"I love you, little one. I don't even know you, but I love you already."_

_Jane feel's Maura's hand smooth down her own wild curly hair, tucking a piece behind her ear. She looks up to her, both of their eyes glossy and teary and filled with wonder._

_"Jane," Maura whispers, "I can't believe it."_

_Jane stands from the couch and brings her hands around to her wife's lower back, pressing their bodies together._

_"Believe it, Maur. You are amazing."_

_Then, as they stand pressed together, there is movement._

_Movement that is so real and different and honest. Not a ripple or a wave but a full blown kick._

_And Jane feels it._

_She feels it through Maura's clothing and her own. She feels their baby kick one more time through skin and muscle; the movement reverberating through her own body._

_"I feel it." She says, voice louder and excited and happy. "I feel that!"_

_It is the best day of her life._


	2. Chapter 2

**As always, italics are flashbacks**

* * *

Maura flips off the light in the bathroom and moves towards the bedroom door, briefly pausing to lay a kiss on her sleeping wife's forehead. Jane mumbles something about needing just fifteen more minutes, and Maura bites down on her lip to stifle a giggle. It's in these moments when Maura sees Jane as she must have looked as a little girl, cuddled into her pink canopy bed, begging Angela to grant her those few extra blissful moments of sleep, and her heart swells with love.

She begins her morning routine as she has every Sunday for the last two years; starting the coffee, switching on the TV (but setting it to mute so it doesn't wake Jane), and pulling back all the drapes on the windows in their home. Soon, she knows, that these mornings will be packed with feedings and diaper changes and rocking the baby back to sleep, so she takes her time now; cherishing the quiet moments she has with their little boy or girl while she still can.

She pours herself a mug full of orange juice, a habit that confuses Jane to no end, but a habit that she has grown accustomed to nonetheless; a habit she has grown to love. She takes a sip, and finds her gaze lingering on the window above the sink, leading her eyes out into the backyard where the newly rising sun is casting shadows on the beautiful yellow swing set that is sitting there patiently.

* * *

_"Jane, I don't think I like that there." She states plainly, crossing her arms over her chest. "It shouldn't be so close to the garden."_

_"Maur, I just don't understand why we can't just stick this thing on the grass and be done with it." Jane says, as she turns her back to her wife, facing the yellow swing set that they'd spent that last two hours putting together._

_"It's in the perfect spot, right in the middle, so we can see it through the window in the kitchen."_

_"I do like that aspect, yes."_

_"See? And it's close enough to the tree so that it'll have some shade in the summer."_

_"Less chance of sun burn... Also good."_

_Maura watches Jane as she takes in the swing set, her hand coming up to rest flat on her chest, the realization hitting her._

_"Jane?"_

_There is a pause before she responds._

_"This is our kid's swing set, Maur... Our kid."_

_There is a pause in the conversation as both the women take it in, both of them suddenly mesmerized by the realness of it; the finality of their life together. The brunette feels the swell of her wife's belly suddenly pressing gently into her back, as the blonde wraps her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Jane's shoulder._

_"That's it, then. This is the spot." she says._

_"This is it." Jane responds._

_"We're having a baby."_

_The tall detective turns slowly, pressing their foreheads together, noses just barely touching._

_"We're having a baby."_


	3. Chapter 3

**You're going to have to use your imaginations for this one, guys.**

* * *

A soft knock at the front door pulls Maura out of her daydream, startling her slightly. She glances quickly at the clock on the mantle. it is 6:34am. She shuffles to the door quickly, assuming it's just Angela coming by for an early visit as she so often does, but when she swings the door open, she is greeted by a face that makes her breath catch in her throat.

The daydream is over.

"Breathe, kid." is the first thing his raspy voice says to her.

She's so shocked she just stands there, grounded to the cool wooden floors, fingers trembling in the way they only ever do when he's around.

"You shouldn't be here." her voice is shaky and unsteady as she backs up in an attempt to close the door. "You need to go."

Cautiously, he places his hand on the cool wooden frame, firm enough to keep it open, but soft enough to let her close it if that's what she chooses. "I just want to talk, Maura."

There is a pause as she weighs her options, but she inevitably lets Paddy Doyle gently push his way through her front door and closes it behind him, turning the lock before meeting his eyes once more. He steps closer to her and she backs up quickly, putting as much distance between them just as quickly as she can.

"If Jane comes down and sees you here, you know that she will kill you."

She sees a smile pull at the corner of his mouth, but it's gone before it even appears.

"I know she would, that's why I trust her."

There is a pause. She tries to gather her thoughts.

Quietly and unintentionally, she rests her hands on top of her belly, steadying herself from the overflow of emotions that are coursing through her pounding heart.

She knows how she should feel; she should be enraged and pissed off that he ambushed her like this. She should hate him for being himself and having the job that he does and for giving her away. She should hate him, she knows that. But she doesn't. She feels her heart softening and it scares her. She wants to kick him out of her house but she can't, because as much as she is trying not to, she is so happy that he is there. She is so happy just to know that he is alive and breathing and that he loves her.

* * *

_The chess board between them has sat untouched for 25 minutes, and Tommy is just so innocent and gentle with his questions that Maura feels like not answering them would genuinely hurt his feelings. So she continues._

_"Your dad is Paddy Doyle?" he is shocked._

_She nods, tucks her hair behind her ears._

_"Wow... I mean, wow in a good way not wow in a bad way. Wow like wow you're so cool and he's so... He's so Paddy Doyle." He is rambling._

_She can't help but smile. He gets up and scoots his chair a little closer, close enough to that their knees are touching.__  
_

_"Are you okay?" his voice is shaky and nervous. "I- I really didn't mean to upset you, Maura. I was just wonderin'. We really don't have to talk about this."  
_

_She shakes her head. "No, Tommy, it's okay. I'm just... It feels good to talk about it, you know?"_

_He nods. "I know. Talkin' about stuff always makes me feel better, too."_

_"I just feel guilty, I guess." She shakes her head. She doesn't know where to start. "Before, before all this," she gestures around her house. "Before all this I hated him. I really thought I hated him. But things are different now... I'm different now."_

_Tommy picks up her hand and holds it tightly in his own. "Maur, you're not alone in this, you know. My whole family loves you... My sister loves you."_

_"I know that, I do. And I love her too. But she just doesn't understand this part of my life. Jane would do anything to put a bullet through his chest, Tommy, and that scares me."_

_He is confused. "Why?"_

_"I just don't... I... I don't know." she shakes her head, looking down. "I don't feel ready to lose him, yet."_

_Tommy doesn't respond. He doesn't think anything that comes out of his mouth could ever help Maura Isles; the genius. So he sits silently,encouraging her with his eyes and a squeeze of her hand to keep talking; to help him help her feel better, even if only by a little bit._

_"Growing up, I never understood why my birth parent's didn't want me; why I was adopted. My mom made the whole thing seem really normal, and didn't linger on any details, so I never questioned it... But I thought about it... I thought about it almost all the time._

_Sometimes, I'd be doing homework or reading, and I'd catch myself playing with my hair or biting the insides of me cheeks and I wondered... I wondered if those were things that I got from my father. I wondered if our mannerisms were the same, or if our voices would sound nice together. I thought about them more than I thought about anything else, Tommy. They were always there, in the back of my mind. And __I used to think that whoever they were, I would love them. I thought that as long as they were healthy and alive I would be happy and thankful for them. I didn't care what their jobs were or what their financial status was. All I wanted was a family. A family that didn't travel all over the world. A family that had taco night on Thursdays."_

_She lets out a feeble laugh._

_"And when I met him... I thought that there was no way I could ever love him. I didn't think that there was anything good there _for_ me to love... But I don't know if that's right anymore."_

_Tommy reaches out and lift's her chin so that their eyes meet. "Just because someone does bad stuff, doesn't mean that they have a bad heart."_

_She cups his cheek in her hand._

_"You are an angel, Thomas."_

_He stretches out his hand to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. "You've always been my favourite."_

_Then he stands up gracefully and sweeps her into a hug, holding her tight. She can feel him smiling into her hair, and she knows that he is the best brother-in-law that she could ever, ever ask for._

* * *

"What are you doing here?" She asks, trying her best to sound unfazed by his sudden appearance.

"I just wanted to bring you something."

In his hands sits a little silver box with a pretty polkadot red ribbon wrapped around it.

She lets out her breath harshly "I really don't need anything from you."

He looks down at his feet and shakes his head, not sure how to approach his daughter who is not really his daughter at all."You don't have to keep it, Maura. You don't even have to open it. But please, just take it."

She looks deep into his eyes, trying to decide whether or not to trust this man who is such a mystery to her. On one hand he is a murderer, cold blooded. But on the other hand, somehow, he is a father; her father, ironically responsible for giving life as well as taking it; and much to her shock, not really that cold blooded at all.

She takes one tentative step forward, then another and another, until the roundness of her stomach physically stops her from getting any closer. She pulls the box gently from his hands, their fingers brushing in the process. She suddenly realizes that this is the closest she has ever come to her father without the catalyst of bullets or some kind of trauma. It sends goosebumps down her spine.

He cautiously snakes out his hand to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she looks down at the box, brushing the pads of his fingers across her cheek bone in the process. She swallows hard, trying her best not to let her emotions get the best of her.

She lifts her chin up and lines her gaze up with his, peering into his bright green eyes, the very same ones he passed along to her. The same ones that silently watched her graduate junior kindergarden, and play in her first piano recital. The ones that had been there in the background all along.

"I know that I can never know her, Maura. But I will always protect her. You know that."

The blond shakes her head. "Jane will protect our baby. _I__will protect my baby._"

He nods, looking down at his feet. "I'm not saying you wont. I know you will. I just..."

She sighs, interrupting him, running her hand across her face, distressed; confused; unsure.

She begins to speak.

"What me and Jane have here," she gestures around their home, "is good. We are a family." She rubs circles across her belly subconsciously. "We have a family."

She doesn't know where she's going with this speech but she hopes he'll understand anyways, even though she really doesn't understand it herself.

"There is no danger here."

Her head is swimming. She has no idea what to say or do or feel.

"There is only love here."

She places a tentative hand on his arm, looking at him and hoping desperately that he understands what she's trying to tell him.

"That's because of you. You did this for me."

His eyebrows are knit together, forehead creased as if he were in deep thought. He brings his eyes up to meet hers. "I did what I thought was best." he says.

She smiles. "You gave me a life, Paddy. You gave me the best life I could have asked for."

He nods one last time and stands up straight. Gently, his hand finds the back of Maura's head, resting atop her honey blond curls as he places a kiss on her forehead.

"Be happy." are the last words she hears her father say before he breaks contact and shows himself out of her house.

All of a sudden she is overcome with emotion; good emotion; confused emotion. The warmth of his touch on her hair is everything she wanted as a child, and finally receiving it sent her mind into high gear. He was only two steps in front of her and somehow, she doesn't want him to get any farther.

_Don't miss him_, she thinks to herself. _He is not yours._

But he is hers.

"Wait," she calls out, stretching one hand out feebly. She doesn't know what to say.

"You called the baby a her... Do you...You think it's a girl?"

He shrugs his shoulders as the faintest of smiles graces his face. "A man can guess."

She smiles. "Hold on, I think I have something for you, too."

He nods and stands in wait as she disappears behind the counter. He hears her pull out scissors and some kind of paper, and watches as she trims off the ends.

Slowly she comes back to him and holds out a still shot of her sonogram.

"I cut off all the information, you know, hospital names, my name... It's safe. I want you to have it.

He presses the photo to his chest.

Then he is gone.

And she is alone.

* * *

**Big hugs to everyone who is now following this story.**  
**Thank you for believing in it.**  
**I'd love to know your thoughts. Review?**

**O**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Flashbacks._**

* * *

She sits patiently, hand over her mouth, listening from the top of the stairs. Her mind is racing a mile a minute, and she can hear her blood pounding in her skull. She hears the click of the door coming to rest against its frame and she feels like she lost her chance. She lost a chance to put a murderer behind bars; the chance to bring peace to so many families and loved ones.

And she is angry.

She wrings her hands in her lap as she tries to compose herself, but then she is stopped dead in her tracks by a noise that she knows will haunt her for the rest of her life. All of a sudden it is as though her windpipe is being crushed and she can't breathe because that noise, that strangled sob that is born from the back of her wife's throat is enough to drive her over the edge.

She stands up to move down the steps, and once she reaches the bottom, she sees her. Both of her hands are pushed flush against the door, her head bent low and her shoulders high. She looks as though she is caving in on herself.

It sends chills down her spine.

The detective takes a step forward and the floor creaks beneath her feet.

Maura jumps and whirls around, grasping her chest, her eyes big and shocked and watery.

She wipes madly at her cheeks, trying to hide the tears that had been there just moments earlier.

"Jane," she breathes "how long have you been up?"

Jane shakes her head, shrugs her shoulders. Casual. Poker face. "Long enough."

Maura nods. She doesn't know what to do.

Jane steps closer, her arms crossed over her chest. Her anger is there, bubbling right beneath the surface, but it is not anger directed at Maura. Its anger directed at the world, and at Paddy Doyle, and at the Isles in general who let their daughter become so insecure about the people in her life right beneath their noses.

"Are you going to tell me what happened, or do you want me to guess?"

As she speaks she continues moving closer, step by step, waiting for Maura to invite her in. The blonde's bare feet are hard against the floor as she pushes herself farther and farther back, trying to compensate as Jane moves closer.

"You're going to be mad." She whispers. "You're going to be so disappointed."

Jane is now close enough to see the freckles on her wife's cheeks that lay scattered beside her nose.

"Not at you."

The smaller woman folds her arms over her chest, hangs her head low. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying so hard to banish everything she is feeling, trying so hard to be strong and brave in the face of the detective before her.

Suddenly there is a hand on her cheek, soft fingers, big palms, the swell of the moon shaped scar pressed gently into the skin on her face. Automatically the tension in her spine relaxes and she lets go of the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Jane," she whispers, "I'm so scared."

"Scared of what, Maura?"

"I'm scared to stop hating him."

* * *

_They are sitting on the couch with the TV set to the station that plays the picture of a fish tank on a loop. Jane prefers the fireplace channel because the fish freak her out, and honestly, who wants to watch a bunch of goldfish for an hour? But regardless of her reservations about wasting power on the Aquarium channel, she puts it on, because she knows that her wife loves it._

_"Its like they're really here with us!" a 5 month pregnant Maura exclaims, a silly grin spread across her face._

_She can never say no to that smile._

_Jane returns to the couch with a mug of orange juice for Maura and a beer for herself. Handing her wife the blue polka-dotted mug she slides down next to the blonde who almost immediately places her feet in the taller woman's lap._

_"Why are you wearing socks, it's the middle of August,"_

_"My toes were cold." She says, nonchalantly. Jane can't help but laugh._

_"Of course."_

_There is a comfortable silence. Jane presses the pads of her long fingers into the muscles in Maura's feet, relieving the tension that built up during the day in those ridiculous heels that she insists on wearing. She shakes her head, peering over at her wife who is now watching her with a bemused expression._

_"What are you looking at, Dr. Smartypants?" she teases._

_Maura cocks an eyebrow at her, pointing her finger as a warning. "I know exactly what you're going to say, and I'm warning you not to say it."_

_The brunette actually laughs out loud. "Well, excuse me for wanting my pregnant wife to be wearing footwear that is actually practical. I am such a horrible woman, you'll have to forgive me."_

_The silly grin returns to the blondes face as laughter bubbles from her throat. "Well I don't. And my footwear is more than practical, Jane, I've told you this many times."_

_"Yeah right" she mumbles, taking a long sip from her bottle._

_Maura giggles once more as she brings the mug to her lips, poking Jane with her big toe, a grin spreading across her face. __Moments like these are the moments she lives for; easy and lighthearted and calm. They are so peaceful. She sets her mug on the coffee table behind her and places her hands on her stomach. She rubs circles there, mimicking the movements Jane is making on the arches of her feet. _

_She peers over at her wife and it feels as though her __heart is smiling; that's the only way she knows how to put it. Everything about her, from her wild curly hair to the short, clean nails on her fingers fill Maura with such a sense of home. Even the most unimportant things like the scent of her shampoo and the way she always seems to develop holes in the bottoms of her left socks; all these little things that Maura never knew were possible to love, she finds herself smitten by._

_"Wouldn't it be cool if the baby could hear what you were thinking?"_

_Jane's voice brings Maura out of her inner monologue with a start, but she giggles anyway._

_"I don't see why that would be cool, detective, I think it would actually be a little bit daunting."_

_Jane snorts "Daunting" she repeats in a high voice. "Who actually uses that word in normal conversations?"_

_Now it is Maura's turn to laugh out loud, and Jane looks over at her lovingly._

_"Your laugh," she says. "I hope our baby has your laugh."_

* * *

Everything inside of Maura is telling her to run; to slip past her detective and go outside, go for a walk, lock herself in her room- anything for the solitude of being alone. But she knows that Jane would never let that happen, and as frustrating as that can be, she loves her for it. She loves her for never letting her go, never letting her retract back into her little shell and leave the world behind.

"Talk to me, Maura. Where's your head at?"

The blonde woman massages her temples. In all honesty, hear head is a mess; in the metaphorical sense of course.

"You know, Jane, I had this thought in my head of who my dad was.. I imagined him as this businessman with a beard and rosy cheeks and soft hands... And when I met him... He was all those things, just in a different kind of way."

A tear rolls down her cheek and Jane brushes it away with her thumb.

"And now... now we have this baby coming, and I, I already love her. I, I would do anything to protect her."

Jane nods, gives her a weak smile. "I know you would. I'm not questioning that."

"I know, I know you're not. But Jane, I finally understand. I understand why he did what he did."

She hangs her head once more, her hands covering her face as she chokes back the sobs that are building in her chest.

"And I know I'm supposed to hate him, I know that _you_ hate him, but I can't," she breathes deep. "I just can't."

Jane moves closer, her hand finding rest on the curvature of her wife's neck.

"Hey, look at me." She coaxes, but Maura's eyes stay fixated on the wooden panels in the floor.

Jane slides her hands upwards, and tries not to notice the goosebumps that arise on her wife's arms. Pressing her fingers gently into her wife's cheeks her lifts her face, lining up her gaze to look directly into those gorgeous green eyes.

"Maura, I want you to listen to me, okay?" she nods. "Paddy Doyle does not define you."

Maura closes her eyes.

"Yes, he's your father. And yeah, he's also a mobster. But you're just a person. You're the most amazing, wonderful... amazing person, and loving him does not change that. It doesn't change you."

Her eyes flutter open. Maura reaches out to rest both her hands flat on her wife's chest, feeling the pulse of her heart. Their foreheads are touching now, so close that they can feel each others breath ghosting past their own faces.

"Can you still love me?" her voice is little, so quiet Jane almost doesn't hear it.

"Always, Maur." She presses a kiss to her lips and repeats it.

"Always."

* * *

**Thank you for having so much faith in this little story.**

**O**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sincerest apologies for my super cool accidental re-upload of the last chapter. As always, _flashbacks._**

* * *

All she knows is that she's tired. "I just want to sleep." she groans.

Jane flips onto her side and peeks over at her pregnant wife through her eyelashes. The blonde woman is lying flat on her back, knees propped with a pillow, belly so big and round that Jane can hardly see past it. It makes her smile.

"It's not funny, Jane." Maura growls. "You have no idea how this feels."

She sits up and folds her legs together, bringing herself so close that her knees touch Maura's side.

"Then tell me, grouchy pants." she teases. She sees Maura roll her eyes before running her hand across her forehead.

"Talking about it makes it worse." she breathes. "Tell me a story."

Jane laughs. "Like a bedtime story?"

She nods. "Please."

Although she's trying her hardest to be regular and normal and sane, the blond woman is everything but; and Jane can see it. The gentle crease in her forehead, the way her fingers keep opening and closing around themselves, the way her foot keeps tapping up and down- they give her away. She's nervous. Anxious. Stressed out.

All these things; these nervous habits that she doesn't know she has- Jane has memorized them, and they scare her. They throw her off, confuse her, make her unsure of what to say or do, because they're so unlike Maura. _Maura_, this woman who is so brave and resilient and unchangeable. It's strange to see her this way, it's almost unsettling. But it's happening, and Jane wants nothing more than to fix it.

"Why don't we just talk instead." The detective suggests softly, hinting. She sees her wife's lips purse together.

"Jane" she whispers. "I just need to take my mind off everything." she sighs. "_Please_."

Jane reaches out her fingers and traces that blonde hairline that she knows so well. She can feel the smaller woman relax beneath her touch, so she continues- Out across her forehead and down past her eyes, across her cheeks and over the bump of her cheekbone. She runs the pads of her fingers over her wife's lips right before placing a kiss there; gentle, soothing.

She pulls back and works her fingers over her wife's clenched fists, opening her palms and massaging the muscles she finds all tensed up.

"Do you remember when they found out?" she asks.

Finally, Maura smiles. "Of course I do." she breathes out. "How could I forget."

* * *

_The house was filled with music. Not the kind of Christmas carols that they play at the opera, but the kind that play at the end of a funny Christmas Movie- the real Christmas music, and it was her favourite part._

_She was sitting on the couch, smack between Jane's two brothers as they sang to her with such an enthusiasm that she was sure the neighbors could hear. In the corner was a small Christmas tree that she and Jane decorated themselves, with stringed popcorn and tinsel and all the colours that the blonde woman usually hated, but she'd accepted in the spirit of the season._

_Everything about that moment was perfect, her wife sitting on the ground playing with Jo, her mother in law laughing and singing along with the boys, her own parents seated together on the couch across from her- laughing. For a moment, she sees her life from a birds eye view and is so in awe of how magical it truly looks She is sitting in a room full of people who love her- a room full of people that look forward to talking to her. The kind of people that actually want to spend time with her on Christmas eve- and it makes her heart swell with love._

_As the fast song ends, a slow, soulful ballad fills the room, and Jane stands, making her way over to the couch. "Can I have this dance, my lady?" She asks in a deep voice. _

_She laughs. "I'd be honored."_

_Jane outstretches her hand and Maura is swept up in an instant, fitting herself seamlessly into the curve of Jane's body. She is overwhelmed by the moment and the music and the people around her, and she feels the tears prickling the back of her throat. She buries her face into the rook of Jane's neck as they continue to move to the music as one, their movements perfectly coordinated and fit together, as if they'd been dancing together their whole lives._

_Around them, the rest of the guests have paired off as well, dancing with their significant others and Korsak swaying jokingly with the dog. Jane's hand rests gently on Maura's lower back as it guides her through their dance, holding them together like the perfect tether._

_"How are you tonight, my beautiful wife?" Jane whispers into her ear. It sends shivers down her spine._

_"Absolutely perfect."_

_They dance right up until the end of the song, not breaking their contact for even a moment, and when it ends and they finally pull apart, Maura almost shivers at the loss of Jane's warmth. Everyone is seated as more music begins to play, spurring on a casual conversation._

_From across the room, Maura catches her mother's eye, and there is something there- something mischievous. Suddenly there is anxiety poling in the bottom of Maura's stomach at the thought of something being planned behind her back. She looks quickly over to Jane who hasn't noticed the grin on Constance's face, and when she looks back over at the older woman, she is holding a small rectangle object wrapped in sparkly Christmas wrapping._

_"Mother," Maura starts. "I thought all the gifts were opened... Did we forget one?"_

_She shakes her head. "No, darling." she smiles. "I just wanted to save this one for last."_

_Both the boys stand up and move away to allow Constance to perch herself in front of Maura. "Jane, honey, can you come here for a minute?" she asks softly._

_The room goes silent as Jane slides in behind her wife, instinctively placing her hand on the small of her back. _

_"This is a gift from your mothers." she says, looking to Jane then back to Maura. Angela stands and moves closer, seating herself on the arm rest behind Constance. _

_"You guys are making me nervous." Jane blurts with a tense laugh. "What's going on?"_

_She get's no responds. Constance outstretches her hand and places it on Maura's cheek. "Just open it."_

_Quickly and easily Maura tears the paper away to reveal a paper back copy of The Big Book of Baby Names. For a moment she is confused as she holds it in her hands, staring down at is as if it is some kind of foreign object._

_Her thoughts are interrupted by a giggle from Angela. "We know your little secret, ladies." she squeals. _

_Maura feels Jane's hand on her back move upwards to her shoulder as the blonde turns to meet her wife's eyes. _

_"Did you tell them?" the blonde woman asks._

_"No, I promised you I wouldn't."_

_"So it's true!" Angela erupts._

_A smile spreads across Jane's face as they both turn to face the older women. "Yeah, ma. It's true."_

_Cheers and congratulations echo around the room as Jane stands to greet their family with hugs and handshakes, but Maura doesn't move. She stays seated on the couch, book in her hands, eyebrows knit together in confusion. She slowly looks up and sees her reflection in her mothers eyes. She is smiling._

_"How did you know?" she asks quietly._

_Constance tucks a piece of hair behind her daughters ear. "Mothers always know, darling." she says. Quickly she places a kiss to Maura's temple before pulling her into a hug. "You are going to make the most beautiful mother."_

_Maura laughs, and hugs her back, accepting the answer that she was given. "Merci, mama." she says softly, before following her mother off of the couch and into the crowd of waiting Rizzoli's._

_Angela is next to congratulate her, placing dozens of kisses to Maura's cheeks, blabbering uncontrollably about names and paint swatches and the perfect swing set she saw at the mall. _

_As Angela rambles on, Maura meets Jane's eye across the room, the smile on her face making her stomach do cartwheels. The tall detective squeezes through her brothers pretend argument about godfathers, stops over Jo, and casually brushes her mother aside as she opens her arms wide for her wife._

_Maura steps into them and feels the long, strong arms loop around her waist. "I guess the cat's out of the bag." Jane says with a smile._

_Maura smiles back, and reaches up to press a soft kiss to the taller woman's lips._

_"And what a beautiful cat it is."_

* * *

**Thank you all for being so patient with me.**  
**It would be lovely to receive some feedback.**

**Blessings.**_  
_


	6. Chapter 6

The morning comes fast, too fast. Slowly Maura blinks awake, taking in the room around her. It takes her a moment to adjust to the darkness, and when she peeks over at the clock to her right, it reads 6:45am. She breathes in deep, and looks to her left, staring down at her wife who is still sound asleep. It makes her smile.

Jane's arm is draped over Maura's hips, resting just below the bulge of her stomach, and her head is placed directly over Maura's heart. As Maura watches the even rise and fall of her wife's chest she thinks about the future and what it holds; what it'll be like to wake up having a tiny human curled around her body instead of the grown one she has now. So many things- so many moments to look forward to and she can hardly wait.

Gently she shimmies out of Jane's hold and swings her legs over the edge of the bed. She wanders into the kitchen, standing for a moment in the darkness to look around her. The house is quiet, the only noise coming from the ticking of the clock hung up on the wall. She can hear a lone bird chirping just beyond that kitchen window and she smiles. Morning is her favourite. There's just something about being the only person awake in a world that is still so peacefully asleep that brings her such a sense of calmness that she feels as though she can do anything; like she's invincible.

She pulls the curtain in the kitchen open and the light streams in, ridding the room of it's darkness. Folding her arms over her chest, she turns, and her attention is caught by the shimmering polka dot package that still lays untouched on the counter top. She moves to it, running her fingers over the smooth packaging, imagining what could possibly lay beneath its surface.

She is taken from her moment of silence by her front door pushing open to reveal a tanned Angela. The woman takes one sight of her and smiles, making her way around the counter to lay a kiss upon her temple.

"Good morning, love." she says happily.

Maura smiles and feels her heart warming with something she can't quite place.

"Good morning, Angela."

The woman smiles once more, beginning her daily actions around the kitchen. Ever since she got pregnant, Angela has made sure that Maura needn't lift a finger, and as wonderful as it's been, she is getting restless.

"Angela," she begins. "I can really hold the fort around here, it's not a problem."

Angela wiggles her finger in Maura's direction. "Stop trying. Not going to happen."

The older woman holds a mug of tea out for Maura and she accepts it gratefully. The heat from the mug permeates through Maura's fingers, bringing a sense of calming to her bones.

"Come," Angela says, raising her hand to rest on Maura's back. "Come sit with me."

The two find their way to the backyard, placing themselves gingerly on the two chairs laid out upon the patio. Neither one speaks, both just sit in silence and enjoy the moment they have together.

"Angela," Maura finally breaks through the quiet. "Can I ask you something?"

Angels turns to her, resting her hand under her chin. "Of course."

Maura nods and looks down, watching a group of ants as they attempt to build an ant hill. She struggles to find the courage to say what she has been pulling at her insides all this time.

"You have three kids." She begins.

Angela nods. "Three trouble makers. Three pains in my ass."

Maura wants to laugh at the joke but she can't. There's too much on her mind.

"How..." she begins. "How did you do it?"

Her words are quiet. They sound like a little kid scared of the boogyman in her closet. She hears the worry laced in with her own words and silently kicks herself for letting herself get to insecure; so scared.

Angela laughs. "I didn't have any kind of strategy, Maur." she says, resting her hand on the blond woman's leg. "You learn as you go."

"But what is it exactly that you learn?" she questions.

"You learn to be patient. You learn to be soft. You learn _what_ to learn as you go. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Maura shakes her head. "No."

The complete fear on the woman's face makes Angela's heart ache in a good way. She stands and moves closer to Maura, perching herself on the edge of the chair the smaller woman is sitting on.

Silently, she stretches her arms out and Maura finds comfort in the softness she finds there, laying her head flush against Angela's chest.

"You know, kiddo, some things you just can't prepare yourself for. I see you with all your little mommy books, your nose so deep inside them you get ink on it." she pulls back for a moment only to lay a kiss on the top of her head, resting her cheek over Maura's crown before continuing. "Nothing you read can tell you how to be a mother. No amount of words or definitions or explanations can prepare you for that. It has to be something you teach yourself. Every kid is different. Every mother is different. So reading something that a _different_ mother wrote about _her_ kid is about as useful as... I don't know, washing clean dishes."

Maura breathes deep, releasing as much frustration into Angela's arms as she possibly can.

"I don't want to mess it all up."

Immediately, the older woman responds. "You are not going to mess it all up."

She shakes her head. "What happens if I do?"

Angela places a hand on each of Maura's shoulders, holding her just far enough to look into her eyes.

"Then you just keep going. You pick up the pieces and kiss it better and move on." She squeezes her shoulders, reassuring. "It's okay to make mistakes, Maura."

She nods. "I know, I just... I want to be a good mom."

"Let me ask you this," Angela says, matter of factly. "Do you love her?"

Maura's eyes widen, her mouth dropping open slightly before her eyes go serious, fierce. "More than anything." She says.

Angela presses her lips gently to Maura's forehead.

"Then you already are."

* * *

**Apologies for holding out for so long.**  
**I hope this was up to your standards.**  
**It's not so much a memory, but a moment that I thought was necessary.**  
**Enjoy.**

**Blessings**  
**O**


	7. Chapter 7

The days grow longer. Her eyes grow heavier. Each new morning is greeted with happiness as well as a certain sense of readiness to move onto the next step. Outside their windows orange leaves are sprouting, and clouds are forming, and that familiar haze of autumn is settling over Boston, and Maura can feel it coming.

Even though her feet are swollen, she can't see her toes, and she doesn't sleep- she is afraid for these weeks to end; because as the summer life ends, the fall one begins, bringing with it the joys and fears of parenthood- _real_ parenthood. She looks upon these upcoming weeks with happiness and fear, joy and horror. She is becoming a mother.

_They_ are becoming mothers.

This simple fact is exhilarating but daunting, and Maura being Maura, she throws herself into every last detail of birth plans and final nursery touches in order to take her mind off of what is coming. Jane watches her struggle through these last few weeks of pregnancy, and she worries. She worries but she is also proud. Proud of the woman her wife has become, and proud of the fact that she is working so hard; _has_ worked so hard.

And she she is happy.

She is happy regardless of the fact that her wife curses her every time their baby kicks up into her ribcage. Happy even though the air conditioning is cranked on high despite the rapidly dropping temperature outside their doors. She is happy even though her wife is miserable.

But mostly she is happy because she knows that her wife isn't really miserable at all.

Maura is tired, and she is in pain, and she wants nothing more than to never be pregnant again- but Jane sees that sparkle in her eye. She sees the gentleness in her voice when she speaks to their baby. She sees all these new sides of her wife that she never even knew existed; and she's not sure they even did until now. But nonetheless she is happy; she feels at peace with the world around her even though this world that makes her so comfortable is about to change drastically.

Forever.

These are her thoughts as she drives home from work.

The work that kept her away much longer than it was supposed to.

She braces herself as she slips the key into the lock and pushes into the house.

The front entrance is empty and dark and cold. She discards her gun and slips off her shoes, tucking them neatly in with the rows of heels that have now been sitting abandoned for two and a half months. She walks blindly through the darkened kitchen, peering quickly at the clock that reads 11:43pm. Shit.

She is just about to ascent the stairs when she hears it; breathing. She spins around, squinting through the darkness that has taken over her home. Step by step her heart rate quickens, pulse racing inside of her ears. She feels the familiar feel of their living room carpet and that's when she sees it.

Maura.

Cuddled onto the couch, forgotten mug of orange juice sitting patiently on a coaster atop the coffee table.

Something inside of Jane longs to reach out and touch her, whisper into her hair how beautiful and peaceful she looks. But something else wants to wake her and scold her for doing this again; passing out on a couch that is uncomfortable, impractical, damaging. She isn't sure if this sudden burst of anger is coming from a place of logic or a place of misguided confusion. But she doesn't care.

She doesn't care because she is four hours late.

And the fact that her wife is on the couch instead of their bed is her fault.

Suddenly there are fingers tapping gently at her arm that pull her from her haze.

"You're home" she whispers, voice thick with sleep. "Where were you?"

Jane looks down at her wife and tucks strands of displaced hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry. I was so behind on paperwork and I lost track of the time."

Maura squints at her behind thick eyelashes before extending her arms. "Help me up." she asks.

Jane does as she's told.

Together they rise and climb the stairs to their room. Maura perches on the edge of her mattress and watches Jane get ready for sleep.

Neither of them speak.

Maura can see the tension building in Jane's shoulders.

"J," she calls to her. "Come sit by me."

Jane keeps her back turned, hands braced upon the edge of the dresser.

"Just gimme a minute."

She is overwhelmed by her tiredness, her heavy eyelids fogging her ability to see clearly; think logically. Quickly and all too soon she finds herself fighting for control, clawing her way out from the bottom of this pit of despair and fear.

"You were on the couch." She says. It comes out harsher than she intended. "What were you doing on the couch?"

Maura's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I must have fallen asleep, Jane, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head. "You should have been in bed. You know that. You're not supposed to pass out on a couch, _Maura._"

"It's not like I did it on purpose, _Jane_."

"Oh save it." Jane interrupts. "You don't even have an excuse."

"Since when do I need to have an excuse for falling asleep on my own couch?"

Their voices are rising, and as they do so, Maura finds herself wondering where the hell this whole thing is coming from. She feels her blood racing hot beneath her skin, her veins huge and pulsing within her ears. She has no idea where Jane's anger is seeded, nor does she have any clue here hers is coming from either. But all se knows is that she's not going to deal with it. Not today.

"Since you're pregnant with my kid, Maura, that's when."

The comment triggers so many possible harsh replies that she has to bite the insides of her cheeks in order to keep herself from saying something hurtful; something that she knows would give her the winning hand in this argument and simultaneously destroy the woman in front of her. But Jane sees it, she can read her like a book.

"What, Maur, what do you have to say?" Jane spits.

"Just drop it, Jane." she warns.

Jane throws her hands in the air. "What, you think I can't handle it? I'm not smart enough?"

Jane takes a step forward, eyes ferocious and fingers twitching. "All I ask of you when I am not here is to take care of yourself, Isles. Do you not remember what the doctor told you? 'Stay in bed. Don't do anything strenuous. Sleep plenty"

"Lying in a bed and lying on a couch are the same thing, Jane. There isn't a difference. And Maybe if you actually came home on time I wouldn't have to fall asleep waiting." she shouts.

"Oh, so now it's my fault. Of course. It's always my fault, right Maura?"

"That's not what I'm saying!"

Maura feels the anger suddenly drop away and replace itself with desperation. She looks at her wife, all dark and twisted and angry, and she sees something in there that is raw; exposed. Something so secret and honest that the only way she can express it is by yelling.

"But it's what you're _thinking_. It's what _everyone_ is thinking, isn't it."

"No, J, of course not." she says it loudly, but softer; kinder.

"Stop lying to me, Maura. Stop treating me like a child. I see the way people look at us. Nobody thinks I can do this."

"That isn't true." She breathes.

"Oh please, just save it. I can't even get home on time. I was sitting in my office chair doing paperwork and my pregnant wife fell asleep on a couch _waiting_- waiting for me when I completely forgot about her. Because I was in that fucking chair, doing useless fucking paperwork, losing track of the _fucking_ time."

The tall woman's fingers are trembling, her heart is pounding, and she can feel tears burning holes into the backs of her eyes.

Suddenly, she feels the sensation of Maura's hand inside her own as she is pulled to the bed, sitting beside the littler woman, hand in hand.

"Talk to me." Maura whispers.

In an instant she is bare; every fear and doubt and worry laid out before her. "I'm so scared," she practically whimpers. "What if I'm"

Maura shakes her head, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter." She kisses the crescents in her wife's palms. "It doesn't matter as long as there is love there."

Jane pulls away, stands up, paces around the room and runs her hands nervously through her hair.

"But what if..." She stops short, biting down on her bottom lip so hard that she draws blood. "What if I'm not good enough."

Maura stands to meet her as Jane comes up closer.

_"What if I'm too dangerous?"_

Maura feels her heart skip a beat as the insecurity she knew was in there somewhere finally makes it's appearance.

"You're not dangerous, Jane."

She wrings her hands together in front of her, feeling the swell of the scars that center her hands.

"We're safe here." Maura coos to her. She reaches out, holds the taller woman's hands in her own. "He can't hurt us- you made sure of that."

"But Maura-" she begins, but is cut off as Maura's lips find her own, laying butterfly kisses atop them.

"You will never hurt us. Nothing can hurt us." she says it firmly, matter of factly.

Jane pulls back and presses their foreheads together as she brings her hand to rest on the right side of the blonde woman's neck. Slowly, she runs the pad of her finger over the risen white scar along Maura's neck.

"I already hurt you."

As the words tumble from her mouth, her first tear falls, marking it's territory along her cheek as if it owns her; as if her fears own her.

"Listen to me, Jane Clementine." Maura says, looking directly into her wife's swimming brown eyes. "You didn't hurt me. You have never, ever hurt me. You have only saved me. Jane, you _saved me_."

Jane's eyes flutter closed as her eyebrows knit together. "Do you promise."

Maura's eyes flutter closed as she presses her lips gently to Jane's.

"Forever, J." she whispers.

_Forever_.

* * *

**Are you guys ready for this baby? Because I am.**  
**Tell me what you think.**

**Blessings**  
**O**


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter is rated M. Please be aware of this before you continue.**

* * *

The sun rises and the sun sets and they seem to walk around their home aimlessly, waiting. Waiting for the day. Waiting for it all to change. Today, Maura comes down the stairs from her room and into the kitchen, and takes her usual seat at the island countertop. She sips her juice and flips through a magazine, and when she looks up at the time on the stove she is shocked to realize that it's half past noon. Carefully, she stands, puts her dishes in the sink, and makes her way to the front entrance- she wants to go for a walk- she wants to do _anything_ but sit around her house and continue her waiting. But when she reaches the front of her home, she notices that there is a blue shoulder bag packed and ready by the door. For a moment she just stares at it, confused. But then she realizes what it is, and whose put it there, and she smiles.

She walks up to it, unzipping it and pulling the sides open. What's inside makes her heart smile; makes her eyes water. She removes each item gingerly, as if they'll vanish from between her very fingers if she isn't careful. She pulls out a receiving blanket: the one with the yellow stripes that they got from Frankie. She pulls out a soft green onesie with a little white flap over the stomach that Jane had brought home from the store one saturday afternoon. She pulls out books and water bottles and a travel package of tissues. All these things. Things that she would never have thought to bring. Things like sanitizer and a little wash cloth. Things that are so _Jane_. So obviously _hers_.

She looks at the contents of the bag that she has now placed neatly beside her and smiles once more. Never has she been more in awe of her wife than in this moment. The bag is such a little thing; such a minute detail. However it is enough to make her realize just how thoughtful Jane can be- how thoughtful Jane _is_.

Slowly and deliberately she refolds every item, placing them back into the bag and zipping it shut once more, and as she places it back in its spot by the door, she is consumed with the notion that they will be removing it from this spot once more in just a matter of days. She looks around her and revels in the moment. Soon, this peaceful quiet will be limited. The lazy mornings and quiet Sundays will be a thing of the past. And regardless of how much Maura Isles liked her quiet time in the past; she's never been more ready to give it all up.

* * *

_The hardware store is huge. Huge and scary and intimidating. They walk hand in hand through the isles, reading labels and scanning barcodes. Jane is like a kid in a candy store, and Maura watches her with satisfaction. The pair steps into the isle that houses cribs and Jane gasps. Maura can't help but giggle._

_"Why are these so expensive?" She questions, looking back at her wife with a price tag in her hand. "It's for a little person, not the risen baby Jesus."_

_Maura laughs, pulling her wife further along the isles by the hand. "Cribs are cribs, J."_

_Jane laughs. "Cribs are not cribs, cribs are investments."_

_They walk lazily, hand in hand, taking their time and studying each tiny picture on each of the cardboard boxes. "When do you think the nursery will be ready?" Maura asks shyly, stealing a sideways peek at Jane._

_It had been nearly three months. Three months since Jane banished Maura from their baby-to-be's room. Jane had wanted it to be a surprise, wanted to decorate and paint and put the furniture together on her own, and Maura being Maura had been skeptical, but eventually caved when she saw the look of determination in her wife's eyes. _

_"Maur," Jane responds warily. "It'll be ready when it's ready."_

_Maura sighs. "I just wish you would let me help. I want to help."_

_Jane squeezes her hand. "You_ are _helping. You've picked almost all the furniture, and the colours, and the curtains. Hell, you even picked which room you wanted."_

_Maura bites back a smile. "I know," she responds. "I just..." she begins to speak but is cut off by Jane's lips on hers. _

_She pulls back and looks deep into hazel eyes. "Just relax, doctor. I've got this."_

_Maura smiles as her eyes flutter closed as she presses her forehead to Jane's cheek._

_"Fine." she breathes. "I won't ask again."_

_Jane smiles and nods, thanking her wife with her eyes before she continues down the isle, scoffing at the next row of price tags."So hows about I cut down one of the trees in the back yard and build my own damn crib." _

_Maura laughs. "Whatever floats your boat."_

_Jane winks back at her, mischievous, and Maura has to bite her lip to hold back the desire to tackle her right there and then._

_"Whatever you say, doc."_

_And with that Maura reaches out and pulls Jane forward, her own back coming to rest upon the tall medal frame of the shelf. Jane's hands reach out to support herself on the rack just behind Maura's head, their lips meeting for the first time in what feels like years._

_"Maura," she gasps. "We're in public."_

_Maura pulls back momentarily and looks both ways. "No sign of intelligent life anywhere in the vicinity, detective Rizzoli" she responds in a voice that makes Jane ache. _

_Maura chuckles deeply in Jane's ear and the sound sends shivers down the taller woman's spine. She can feel the vibrations of Maura's body beneath her fingers, the heat of her skin, and it makes her world spin on it's edge._

_Jane presses closer, flat stomach against flat stomach. Maura's hands roam up the curve of Jane's back as she presses their lips together once more. _Pregnant Maura is the best Maura,_ Jane thinks to herself. It had been four months since they found out about the little Rizzoli-to-be and Jane had never seen her wife so hormonal; so... Ready._

_Jane slips her hands into Maura's flowing blonde hair and bites the smaller woman's lower lip, asking for entrance. Maura moans into her, deep and guttural and Jane quivers with anticipation as Maura's lips pull open, letting Jane in._

_It seems as though the world drops out from beneath their feet as both women are completely and totally engrained in each other. Hands and tongues dart backwards and forwards, drawing deep breaths from both parties involved. Jane feels the tiny curve of Maura's belly press into her own flat stomach as the blonde woman's back arches, drawing a devilish grin from the detective._

_"Maura," she breathes, breaking the embrace for only a moment before the smaller woman pulls her back, forceful and controlled. "Maur, someone is going to see." She mumbles. Maura nibbles on her bottom lip then soothes it with her tongue._

_"I don't care." She responds. "Let them see."_

_Jane does one more sweep of the isle, looking right then left as Maura peppers kisses along her neck. _

_"Are we really doing this?" she asks disbelieving as she pulls back a little further._

_Maura's eyes press closed and her forehead creases as she sighs out deeply. "Jane," she pleads. "Please do not make me wait any longer."_

_Jane peeks around the two of them one last time before bending and drawing their lips together once more, feverish and desperate. Maura's fingers trail along Jane's ribcage, drawing goosebumps in their wake, and Jane shivers at the skin on skin contact._

_The taller woman slips her fingers into the waistband of her wife's yoga pants, slowly working their way down to find her center. She feels Maura tremble beneath her as the blonde woman's head tilts to rest in the hollow spot between the detectives shoulder and neck._

_She presses her fingers up gently but confidently and Maura gasps, her mouth falling open as Jane captures it with her own._

_ "Shh," she hisses between their lips. "Not now, Maur." Jane knows all too well how loud her wife can get, and although the noises Maura is making are adding to her already built up arousal, she can't get caught for this. Not today._

_"Sorry," she breathes back. "I can't help i-"_

_Her words are cut off as she gasps once more, Jane finally hitting the spot she'd been waiting for. "J," she pants, voice thick with lust. _

_Maura's fingernails dig into the skin on Jane's back, as she bites down into the taller woman's shoulder to stifle her cries. Jane continues her movement, speeding up and slowing down, moving deeper and deeper with each new wave. She feels Maura's teeth on her neck and Maura's fingernails on her back and feels as though she is about to come undone with these simple actions._

_"Please," she hears her wife beg, her voice getting louder and more desperate. "Jane, _please_."_

_The words tumble from her lips and Jane has to bite back a satisfied laugh. "Are you sure, Maura?" she questions devilishly. "This is what you want?"_

_She is teasing. And she knows it_

_She feels Maura shudder and moan beneath her loudly, and the response is enough to drive Jane over the edge. She pushes harder, deeper and faster. Filling her up from top to bottom, allowing no room for anything but her love._

_She kisses Maura hard as she feels her begin to unravel, and as Jane flicks her thumb over her wife's bundle of nerves one last time, Maura flies over the edge. Her mouth hangs open and her eyes slam shut as Jane captures her lips one last time, swallowing the cries of pleasure that are so loud, she's sure they can be heard from two isles over._

_Finally Maura comes down from her high, trembling as Jane removes her hand from her wife's pants. Their eyes meet and Maura's green orbs are dark with lust and arousal. She stands on her tip toes to press a light airy kiss to Jane's cheek._

_"You're wonderful." she says, siting back on her heels._

_Jane laughs out loud as she grabs her wife's hand, leading them to the front of the store where she can feel the cashiers eyes burning holes into her back._

_"And you're fucking crazy." she responds._

_And they both laugh as Jane slings her arm around Maura's waist, walking them through the parking lot and towards the car._

_"But I love you."_

_And she does._

_Oh, does she ever._

* * *

Jane hears the door open and click shut, and she leaves her spot at the microwave to go and investigate. She rounds the corner and there is her wife, hanging her jacket and untying her scarf. The roundness of her belly sticking out form under a light purple knitted sweater with beads on the shoulders.

"Hey," she calls casually. "How was your walk?"

Maura turns to smile at her wife as she steps closer, Jane's hands reaching out to fluff her hair. She laughs. "Relaxing."

Jane smiles. "Good."

She leans over and presses a kiss to Maura's cheek, just under her eye, and the skin there is pink with the cold.

She pulls back and leads into the kitchen, Maura just seconds behind her. The Rizzoli's are there, seated at the island, talking loudly and laughing even louder. There's Tommy, followed by Frankie, joking and picking on each other as usual. And to Maura's surprise, standing beside Angela at the stove-top is Constance. Jane peeks over at her wife and feels her heart swell as a grin spreads across her face like wildfire.

"Mother," she breathes. "I didn't know you were in Boston."

Constance smiles and approaches, bringing Maura close and kissing each of her cheeks.

"I wanted to be here for the..." she trails off, waving her hands in a gesture. "Baby."

Maura smiles once more and Constance rubs her hands over her daughters cheeks.

"Maura darling, please sit down and drink something warm. Your face is cold."

Over her mothers shoulder she sees Tommy and Frankie making faces at her. She struggles to contain her laughter as they pretend to kiss each others cheeks and pat each others hair. She sees Angela wave a spatula at them, warning them to cut it out. She can almost hear the older woman's voice in her head. The two boys break into laughter and Maura chuckles, seating herself directly between the two.

_This is how it must feel._ She thinks, as Tommy reaches out to touch her belly. _This is what it must feel like to have a family._

* * *

They eat dinner, and they talk, and they smile, and they are a family. The house is warm with life, and alive with the sound of laughter. She looks around her and is suddenly so calm; so serene, and as she reaches down to smooth her hands over her stomach, she can't help the feeling of how grateful she is to be bringing a baby into a world where love is the key ingredient.

From somewhere in the space surrounding her she hears someone calling her name, and fingers brushing her arm bring her out of her daydream. She blinks once, twice, looking into the blue eyes of her mother. "Are you alright, darling?" she asks.

Maura nods, smiling. "I'm fine."

She sees Tommy and Frankie throwing bits of bread at each other from across the table and her smile grows wider. She's more than fine. She's _perfect_. She's so, _so_ unbelievably happy. Constance presses her hand to Maura's forehead, lines of worry etched into her forehead. "Are you sure?"

Maura meets her eyes once more and sees something there that is so unfamiliar. So unusual. "Yes, I'm sure." She responds. "Are you?"

Constance shakes her head. "Yes, I'm well. I'm just concerned. You look all dreamy and distant."

Maura laughs at the diagnosis, and pats her mothers hand. "No need to worry, mother." She smiles. "Everything is perfect."

And it is.

It really, truly is.

Just then, Jane walks into the dining room with a girly grin spread across her face, bouncing on her toes. She clears her throat.

"Excuse me everyone, but if you wouldn't mind following me, I have something I'd like to share with you all."

Suddenly the room is quiet as everyone directs their attention to the woman with the curly hair. The look on her face is pure excitement and it makes Maura giddy.

"If you don't mind, you're going to have to follow me upstairs for this one."

She extends a hand to Maura, winking at her from behind thick eyelashes. "My lady."

Maura laughs and takes her hand.

She knows what is coming.

Jane leads the party up the stairs and to the left, down the hallway, and stops outside of a closed door.

She turns to face the group of people, takes a deep breath, and begins.

"So as you all know, we're in the home stretch of this pregnancy, and Maura and I have been in the process of making our house as baby-proof as possible." She takes a breath and looks around at her family, biting her lip in anticipation. "And it's been a long journey, but I think we did a pretty good job."

She fixes her gaze on Maura as she holds her hands out to the smaller woman. "This has been my project for the last few months, and I wanted you all to be here to see it when it was finally ready."

Jane sees the excitement in Maura's eyes as she turns the knob on the door, stepping through the threshold and leading them into the nursery.

The future.

Maura can't help the gasp that falls from her lips as she reaches up to cover her mouth with her free hand.

The nursery is perfect.

The crib that they'd picked out together is situated in the middle, atop a white furry carpet that reminds Maura of marshmallows. The walls are painted a canary yellow, and the ceiling is a baby blue, with hundreds and hundreds of little glow-in-the-dark stars sprinkled across it. There are polka dotted curtains and a matching polka dotted changing table. There is a tall bookshelf stretching from the floor all the way to the ceiling, each shelf holding something near and dear to their hearts. Books and baseball gloves and tiny little horse figurines.

But the best part of the whole room, Maura's favourite part of all, are the pictures. Directly behind the crib, hung up on the wall, are twelve picture frames, set up in rows of three, each containing the smiling faces of members of their family. There is Tommy and Frankie, Korsak and Frost. There is Angela, and Constance, and all the people who love this baby. All the people that will be there for her. And Maura smiles, stepping up to the wall and delicately tracing her finger over the picture frame positioned directly in the middle. It is the largest one on the wall, golden with delicate designs of leaves and branches pressed into it. Beneath the glass of the frame is the two of them. Hand in hand. Staring into each other as if they were the only people in the world. Her heart jumps in her chest.

"Where did you find this picture?" Maura hears herself whisper.

Jane steps up behind her, her hands coming to rest on Maura's hips. "Your mother gave it to me. She took it on Christmas. I guess neither of us noticed."

Maura sucks in a breath sharply as she turns to meet her wife, eyes glazed over with love and happiness and life. So much life.

"It's perfect, J." she breathes as she wraps her arms around the taller woman's neck. "_Perfect_."

Jane reaches out to meet her, encircling her waist and placing a kiss on her temple. Maura holds her arms around Jane's neck, bringing her face to the hollow spot that she feels was build just for her.

"You're perfect." She whispers to the doctor. "Our family is perfect."

And it is.

It really, truly is.

* * *

**We're getting close, y'all.**  
**Any ideas on what the baby is going to be named?**

**Blessings**  
**O**


	9. Chapter 9

**I love you guys.**

* * *

It takes a moment for her to realize what's happening when it happens, but as soon as she feels the heat between her legs, she knows. She cautiously sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed, resting her hands on her knees and squeezing her eyes shut. For a moment the world around her spins. She squeezes her eyes tighter and she sees colours dance before her, weaving patterns and designs that are unique and special and hers. She then feels the sensation of another tug and another gush and her breath catches in her throat, her eyes snapping open instantly.

"Jane." She says her wife's name quietly at first, her words getting cut off by another sudden twist in her stomach. Jane murmurs and rolls over, yawning once before falling back into her sleep, drawing the pillow over her head.

She says her name again, "Jane," louder and more frantic. "Jane, get up."

The brunette squirms for a moment beneath the covers before her eyes groggily drag open, taking in the silhouette of Maura hunched over the edge of the bed.

"Maur," she begins quietly, voice thick and raspy with sleep. "Maur, what's up?"

"It's time." Maura responds, her voice quiet. "My water just broke."

Within seconds Jane is leaping from the bed, stumbling and tripping over the blanket as she struggles to find her footing. "Now? It's time now? Are you sure?" She is almost as frantic and wild as her hair, and the sight makes Maura smile momentarily, except for the fact that another burst of searing pain shoots through her as her back arches to support it, her smile fading into a grimace.

Jane rounds the corner of the bed, Grabbing hold of Maura's hands and bringing her to her feet. "How bad?" she asks.

Maura shakes her head. "Not very. It'll get worse."

Jane nods, letting go of the doctor and darting for the closet. She disappears into its depths and returns moments later with a blue cashmere sweater for Maura, and an old BPD softball teeshirt for herself.

Jane quickly pulls the clothes onto her body, her head getting momentarily stuck in the arm hole of her shirt, and Maura can't help the laugh that escapes her.

"Relax, Jane." she responds, holding her clothes out to her wife. "Relax and help me put these on."

The two women dress and wash their faces before exiting the bathroom, making their way down the hallway and toward the stairs. Halfway down the flight Maura has to stop to allow another contraction hit her, and just as it ends the front door bursts open to reveal a disheveled, frantic looking Angela.

She rushes towards the two women, holding her hands out as Maura finally hits the last step. "Angela," she breathes. "We were just going to call you."

Angela pulls Maura to her and kisses the side of her face, taking her by the hand and leading her towards the front door where Jane is struggling to get into her boots.

"No need, I saw your light on and came running. I just knew it was time." she winks, eyes wide and starry. "It's a mothers intuition."

Jane rolls her eyes while she simultaneously hops on one foot as she yanks her black boot up and over her heel, then bends down to help Maura slip into the delicate yellow ballet flats that had been placed at the front entrance especially for this reason.

The blue travel bag that had been sitting at the entrance for a little over a week is now slung over Jane's shoulder, and Maura can't help but suddenly feel her fear taking over. Jane pulls open the door and takes two steps, before turning and darting back into the kitchen to grab her keys. She looks at Maura quickly, and the blonde woman can see her own fear mirrored there.

"Do we have everything?" she asks through a clenched jaw. One question with so many meanings.

Do I have what I need? Do I have you? Am I ready? Are you?

Jane nods, pulling away for a moment to retrieve the keys she'd dropped in the process. "We've got everything."

I have what you need. I am yours. You're ready. We're ready.

Maura nods, looks up at her wife, and smiles.

"Then lets get this show on the road."

* * *

They burst through the hospital doors and Maura's doctor is already there waiting. Quickly she scurries up to them, red hair bouncing along behind her. Maura steps forward, allowing the woman to take her by the elbow, as she begins leading her down the hallway while Jane is pulled aside by a nurse to tend to paperwork. Maura hears the doctor going on about birthing plans and hospital gowns, but she does not listen. Instead, she peeks her head over her shoulder and back down the hallway where her wife stands hunched over a desk, frantically scribbling names and dates onto a bright yellow paper.

Maura see's the crinkle in her wife's brow and watches her pull her bottom lip between her teeth. Everything about Jane is screaming anxiety. Angela is bopping around behind her daughter, arms flailing as she reminds Jane to make a note that "Maura needs to be the _priority_!" And Maura feels a grin pull across her face as Jane turns to scold her.

Her doctor presses her hand into Maura's lower back, leading her forward as an enchanted smile spreads across her face. "Don't worry, Dr. Isles." She says happily. "Jane will be along in just a minute."

Maura faces forward and nods, leaning into the doctor slightly as she feels the tip of a contraction starting to build within her. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from gasping, pressing her eyes closed and breathing deep, allowing this soft spoken, bubbly doctor lead her down the hallway, and into a gown.

* * *

Jane glances down at her watch and it's 10:45 in the morning. It's been six hours. Six hours since Maura shook her awake, pointing down at the soaked patch of bed that indicated that her water had broken. Six hours since Jane tore through the house, collecting books and clothing and car keys. Six hours, but it's felt like six days.

She crosses her legs and stares down at her beautiful wife who had fallen asleep just moments before. She watches as her brow creases, hands opening and closing desperately as the discomfort within her grows and grows. She wishes more than anything that she could take this pain away from her; that she could help her sleep and be calm, but she can't. She's helpless, and it's killing her.

Suddenly the door to Maura's room opens slowly, as Constance peeks her head inside. Jane smiles, waving her over and standing, allowing her to sit.

"Hey," she greets. "Just in time. I gotta use the washroom."

Constance smiles, reaching out and pulling Jane close, placing a kiss on each cheek. "Lovely." she says. "I was hoping to have just a few moments with her. Has she been asleep for long?"

Jane shakes her head. "Just a few minutes. The next contraction will be just around the corner, though, so you wont have to wait long."

Constance nods and looks down warily at her daughter. She takes a deep breath before taking a tentative step closer. "Jane," she begins. "Would it be alright if I shared something with you?"

Jane looks from the sleeping form of her wife, to her mother in law, to the open door beside her before shrugging her shoulder. "Sure."

Constance sits down in the chair as Jane perches on the bed at Maura's feet. She does her best to look cool and calm and collected, but inside she is an open floodgate of fear and anxiety and just about every other emotion known to man.

"Honestly," Constance begins. "I don't know what to do."

Jane shakes her head, confused. "About what?"

Constance sighs, gesturing to Maura. "About this. I've never given birth. I don't know how to help her, and it is making me quite nervous."

Jane shrugs her shoulders, looking down at the blonde then back into Constance's cool blue eyes. "I don't either. I have no clue what's going on." she says jokingly with a quick laugh.

"I guess that puts us in.. what is that phrase? The same vessel?"

Jane can't help but giggle at how similar Maura and her mother are. "It puts us in the same boat." She responds.

Jane reaches out to take the older womans hands in her own, and regardless of all her preconceptions of Constance, she can't help but feel for her in this moment. Jane looks into her eyes and sees everything that the older woman is trying to hide, and it nearly stuns her. She sees love, and fear, and embarrassment. She sees guilt for all those lonely years and regret for all the ones she missed. She wishes there was something that she could do to reassure her, help her. But for the second time that day Jane is at a loss. "All you can do is love her." Jane says. "All any of us can do is love her and show her that we're here. That's all she wants from us."

Constance nods, squeezing Jane's hands once before pulling away to casually brush away the tears that she desperately wants to hide. "I think that's something I can do."

Jane smiles at the older woman, squeezing her hands one last time before slipping off the bed and heading for the door. At the last moment, she turns back to see Constance swiping at her eyes, and she feels her heart swell.

"Just love her." She says on last time.

Constance nods. "I do. I really, really do."

* * *

She feels as though she is splitting in two. Over and over, minute after minute, there is pain. It doesn't stop, does not subside. He eyes are wide, momentarily rolling into her head as the coattails of her last contraction whip through her. Jane grasps her hand, allowing her to squeeze and pull and hold herself in place, and Maura knows that if she wasn't there, there would be no way she could do this.

Finally her body relaxes, and she feels the sweat dripping down her back as her world settles back into place. She blinks lazily as she stares at the ceiling, her breath coming in short bursts. The grey flecks on the wall above her dance before her, waving patterns and pictures that no one else can see. For a moment, she considers reaching out to them and bringing them close, holding on. But just then the door to her room pushes open and the doctor walks in and she knows it's time before she even says it.

"You ready?" she asks

Maura shakes her head, biting down on her lip as tears gather in her eyes. Jane bends closer, one hand on the back of Maura's neck and the other on top of her round belly. She presses their foreheads together, eyes fluttering shut at the contact. The love.

"You can do this." Jane rasps into her ear. "I'm here."

She feels Maura hiccup as she tries to breathe, hot tears falling freely. "It hurts, J."

"I know." she responds. "But we're so close." She places a chaste kiss upon Maura's trembling lips. "We're almost there."

Jane pulls back as Maura scoots forward on the bed, and the raven haired woman slips in behind her, Maura's damp back pressed to her front. She reaches forward, intertwining their fingers as she feels Maura brace herself, sucking in a deep, trembling breath.

The doctor squeezes Maura's leg, reassuring her before Maura bares down and lets out the kind of moan that makes Jane's heart break in so many different ways. She speaks encouragement in her wife's ear as she shakes and trembles and cries out in agony. Moments later she feels Maura relax, her head tilting back to rest on Jane's shoulder.

Jane presses kisses to her temple, her eyelids, everywhere she can reach. "You're doing so good." she says, over and over. "So good, Maura."

"Jane," Maura pants. "It's so _well_."

Jane can't help the laugh that bursts from within her as her head tilts backward. She's never been as in love as she is in this moment. She feels Maura giggle beneath her and it gives her life. Gives her everything she'll ever need. Her wife. Her wife in all her witty, unaware glory.

"You are such a geek." She says through her giggles.

She feels Maura begin to respond, but the blonde woman is cut off by her need to push.

Her need to finish.

And she does.

She pushes.

She groans.

She feels as if she's not going to make it.

And when she voices this concern she is met by love.

She is met by Jane.

Jane, who kisses the top of her head and squeezes her hands.

Jane, who encourages and believes and assures.

Jane, who keeps her sane and whole and grounded.

Jane.

Jane everywhere.

And it gives her the courage and the strength to push through it.

Push all the way through until there is a popping sensation within her and she's free.

Instantaneously she reaches out, wanting to be the first person in the world to hold this new human. Wanting to be the first person who loves her and gives her warmth.

And she is.

She lifts the baby and brings her to her chest, the red headed doctor coming around the side to quickly cut the cord and dry her off.

The baby is squirming and slick and alive. So alive that all of a sudden Maura is crying.

Sobbing into this tiny new life that wiggles on her chest.

Wiggles directly above her heart

Jane reaches forward to hold the two close, feeling her own tears jumping into her throat before she can control it.

"Jane," Maura says her name, voice laced with happiness and love and pure jubilee. "Jane, this is my baby." She hiccups and catches her breath as the realization hits her. "This is _our_ baby."

Maura looks down at the tiny baby laying on her chest and suddenly she is complete. Suddenly everything she's ever wanted and desired is fulfilled. Every worry is soothed. Every question has its answer. She looks down at her tiny baby and she understands. She understands Paddy Doyle. She understands Hope. She looks at her daughter and she understands Constance and Angela and Frank.

"Hi baby," she coos. "Hi little girl."

She presses her lips to the top of her baby's head and holds them there, eyes fluttering shut at the overwhelming sensations of love and life and happiness flowing through her. She feels the tiny baby's tiny hand dart out and land on her cheek and it makes her giggle, filling her top to bottom with everything she needs.

Jane is silent, watching the encounter from behind her wife. She can't move. Can't breathe. Can't think. She feels tears freely making their way down her cheeks as she experiences the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. Her wife and her baby. Her wife and _their_ baby. She watches Maura whisper things into their baby's ear and she smiles. She smiles so big that it almost hurts her cheeks.

Maura shifts beneath her, using both hands to hold the baby in front of them, one hand on her behind and the other at the back of her neck.

"Say hi to your mommy." She says. "Say hello to your Jane."

The baby squirms and blinks her eyes open, blue and green and absolutely beautiful.

Jane lets go of the breath she didn't know she was holding as she reaches forward to run her fingers over the baby's cheek.

"Hi," she says, suddenly shy in front of this tiny human.

Maura tilts her head back, letting it rest on her wife's shoulder. But Jane can't take her eyes off the baby. Their perfect baby. Her mouth opens and closes, searching for something; hungry. And it amazes the detective at how natural it all is. How beautiful.

The doctor returns to the side of the bed and takes the baby monetarily from Maura's arms as she bundles her in the yellow striped receiving blanket.

"Congratulations, mommies." She says. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

And they do.

They really, really do.

* * *

**I hope this is all you thought it would be.**  
**I took me so long to put it up because I wanted it to be perfect.**  
**However, I eventually realized that it would never be perfect.**  
**So this is it.**  
**Your reviews and opinions are always the highlight of my day.**

**Blessings**  
**O**


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